“BUT DAD, I NEED MY OWN PHONE!”
If you haven’t heard this desperate plea yet, then get ready Dad, its coming! This puts you in a tough spot. As an Ultimate Dad, you know that you want to do what you can to please your child. You have already formed a close relationship with your children, and you want to do everything you can to try to please them. But on the other hand, you are still the Ultimate Dad, and you know that you must make an informed decision. You do not want to start down that cellular path of no return before you know that it is the right time for your child.
Prior to the early 2000s having a cell phone was simply a luxury. A mobile phone was not as mobile as it is today. The earliest cell phones that I can remember in the early to mid-90s was the bag phone. My dad owned his own contracting company at that time, and he used it to coordinate with other contractors and clients. Reception was poor and the antenna on the top of his truck was huge. He would also take it with him on the boat when he went fishing. This is how my mom called him to tell him that she was going into labor with my sister. That is the 90s version of an Ultimate Dad move!
Parents today likely got our first cell phone when we were in high school. At that point in time, a basic phone was your only option! Text messages were still a very crude form of communication, and there certainly were no ways to take photos with the phones, let alone send those pictures to anyone. Our first phone was simply a way to let our parents know we had gotten to our destination, or that practice was over, and we were ready to be picked up.
As technology advanced. As technology progressed, along came the infamous flip phone. If you had a Motorola Razr, you were one of the coolest kids in high school. The flashy metallic cover and the modern interface were amazing circa 2005. Not to mention the satisfaction of slamming the phone shut after a heated conversation that would give you the nostalgic feeling that you get from slamming the phone back on the wall mounted receiver after an argument. Quickly, these phones were replaced by those that had slide out keyboards for this new style of communication – text messages. Then came phones with internet access and ultimately the smartphone. Many of us Dads did not get our first smartphone until college!
Uses and applications for cell phones have changed since we were young. Kids today face new technology and new challenges that were not presented to us. Kids today are beginning to get their own mobile devices at a much younger age than ever before. According to a study by Common Sense Media, the proportion of kids ages 8-10 has nearly doubled from 2015 to 2021. However, The Child Mind Institute recommends that parents wait until their child is at least in 8th grade. So, how do I know if my child is at the right age for his or her first phone?
1. What is the Purpose of the Phone?
This is the first question that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends for parents to ask themselves. Understanding the purpose of the phone will help you not only decide whether your child is ready for his or her own phone, but which phone will be beneficial for you and your family’s needs.
During middle school many kids start to become involved in sports and other school related activities, and many parents want their child to have their own phone for basic communication purposes because of these activities. Although a child in this age group may be growing up physically, a kid’s maturity level may not be ready for their first smartphone. If this is the case for you, but you are not ready for your child to have their own smartphone loaded with social media apps and full internet access, then consider getting your child a basic phone that is only capable of making calls and sending text messages.
Parents want to give their kids a way to let them know that practice is over, and they need to be picked up or that they are done working on a school project with their friends and it is time to go home. A good example of a kid’s smartphones that would serve this purpose while still not giving a child full smartphone access would be the Gabb Z2. With no internet access, social media, or games, The Gabb Z2 is a powerful tool for parents to monitor their children with GPS tracking while also allowing them to maintain contact through calls and text messaging. Another benefit to this is that it runs on an Android OS, which gives you more parental controls over those with an Apple OS.
Disclaimer: Gabb is not affiliated or a sponsor of The Ultimate Dad nor are we paid in anyway for providing this link.
2. Can My Child Keep up with His or Her Belongings?
This is a good place to start. It is no great revelation that younger kids struggle to keep up with their stuff, and a smartphone is something that you don’t want left on the park bench when you let them venture out with their friends. Not to mention, a mobile phone is not cheap! This is also a good gauge of their sense of responsibility. If you feel that they have a strong sense of responsibility, then perhaps it could translate to having a maturity level worthy of having a cell phone.
If your child struggles to keep up with their belongings, then it is likely they will not be able to keep up with their own cell phone. If they cannot keep up with their own cell phone, then it is possible that you kid’s maturity level could not be sufficient to deal with the other issues such as navigation social networks such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter that are often associated with smartphone use.
3. What Rules do I Want to Set?
Suppose you decide your child is at the right age to take the next step have their own phone. It is a good idea for you to set some clear rules for your child’s phone usage. Ground rules for older kids will need to be different from those of an elementary school child. Common ground rules may include no phone use after 9:00, no smartphone use at the dinner table, no use during school hours, no internet access after parents go to bed, no social media, etc. There is no one size fits all solution for these rules. However, it is important that once these ground rules are set, you consistently and strictly enforce the rules to illustrate how important these rules are.
Also keep in mind that the rules that you decide upon will be tailored to your own family’s needs. A family with a child with a particular medical condition may have a different smartphone need than that of a family with multiple children but only a single parent. One may need constant access in case of an emergency while the other may have a child that needs to coordinate transportation with other family members while the single mom is at work. Thus, rules will vary according to your family situation.
4. Is Your Child Ready for Social Media?
Giving your child a smartphone could start your child down the slippery slope of social media. Today smartphones and social media seem to be forever intertwined. One cannot be had without the other. You will need to ask yourself if your child’s maturity level will allow them to safely and responsibly navigate social media sites such as Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. And once they have a smartphone, peer pressure will cause your child to want social media accounts like all their friends sooner rather than later.
You will want to make certain that your child’s social skills, emotional stability, and self-esteem are developed enough to face not getting any likes on their posts or disagreements with classmates on Twitter. For additional questions to ask yourself regarding this topic, see our post on When Should my Child Get Social Media Accounts.
5. What Do You Want Your Child to Have Access to?
Handing young children a smartphone is also giving them access to basically everything imaginable. Internet access could lead to the navigation of inappropriate content. The app store allows children to download games that may seem innocent enough at first but are littered with ads that are on the risqué side. A group text with several classmates could also lead to cases of cyberbullying. If you feel that you and your child still have a good reason for having a cell phone, but you do not want access to the features above, then a basic flip phone or a phone such as the Gabb Z2 may be the best option for you.
6. Does Your Child Already Have Too Much Screen Time?
If you feel that your child already spends too much time looking at screens, then you may not be ready to give them their own smartphone. If he or she is already spending hours playing the X Box or watching videos on YouTube, then are you ready to add another screen at which they will continue to stare? We already have seen how addicted children can become at a young age to games, so you may want to ask yourself if you are ok with giving them another avenue for which they will be spending time staring at screens? If you are ok with giving them a personal device with these capabilities, then the introduction of time limits could be beneficial to you, your children, and your overall family life.
7. Is My Behavior with my Phone a Good Example for my Children?
Does your child see you with your eyes locked on your own smartphone for hours? Do you spend most of your afternoon navigating social networks? Am I demonstrating that family life is more important than navigating social networks? As you know by now, younger children mimic their parents’ behavior whether they intend to do so or not. Being the ultimate dad, you are not afraid to look in the mirror and honestly assess your daily phone use and decide if the amount of time you spend using your phone is something that you would be ok with your children doing.
8. Am I Aware of the Negative Effects of Phones for Children?
Negative effects that can result from smartphone use include mental health issues, exposure to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, bad language, and excessive screen time to name a few. According to Gabb Wireless, teens are at a 71% higher risk of suicide with screen time of more than 5 hours per day. The same study states that teens are twice as likely to be diagnosed with depression when spending more than 7 hours per day on their devices. This may seem like an extreme amount of time spent on their phones, but they also found that on average kids aged 12-18 spend more than 7 hours per day on their mobile devices.
9. What Are the Positive Effects?
While excessive phone usage can have negative effects on children, not all of it is bad. Being able to stay in regular contact with their friends can help develop social skills and communication skills. They can develop friendships by texting with schoolmates with the safety of not feeling like they are being overheard like they would in a phone conversation. Another good reason to let a child have a smart phone is allowing them to conveniently do research for homework. There are many websites and videos that can help with issues they may be having in school. Simply type in “algebra help” into Google and see these benefits.
10. Who Do I Want My Child to be Interacting with?
You may want to consider all the possibilities that your child will have in communicating with potential sexual predators when given their own smartphone. Social media will give your child the ability to participate in a discussion of topics that you may not feel comfortable with them doing. There may be classmates that are known for causing trouble with the authorities that could suddenly be texting your child once his or her phone number has been given out to friends. You’ll want to consider how you will want to monitor these forms of communication.
The bottom line is that there is no ideal age for all children to get their first mobile device. Only you will know when your child’s maturity level has developed to the point that they can be trusted with their first cellphone. Most importantly, your child needs to be protected. Maybe that protection comes in the form of having the latest iPhone so that they can get in touch with anyone they need in any situation. Perhaps it comes in the form of having a basic phone capable of making phone calls and GPS tracking so that they are protected from social media and unlimited internet access. You are the Ultimate Dad, so ask yourself the questions above so that you can make the right decision for your family.